(strange entanglements between scavenger birds and literature)

vultures appear again

we first came to this middle of nowhere in october 2023, and decided to stay because we fell in love with the place. part of this infatuation concerned a mountain where these large birds nested and flew around all the time, which we could see every day during our stay. we thought at first they were eagles but then soon found out they were vultures. i can’t remember ever thinking about vultures before, but i fell in love with them. at this time, i had written no fiction at all, and it was very far from my mind to do so (you may or may not know this has changed dramatically).

as it happened i ended up writing my first novel (Phantasia) soon after (starting in December 2023), and the place and the vultures are significant aspects of it. i don’t know how or why (and i didn’t plan on it), but it happened. in fact, i have said often that the story was told to me by the vultures themselves (it’s in the acknowledgements).

now, in the end (spring 2024), we settled not in that place near the mountain (unfortunately) but in a nearby village. there are no vultures living here (the mountains aren’t high or rocky enough), but it’s fairly close and every once in a while they do come to visit, and their visits are always significant, and often related to literature. luckily i registered their first appearance in this village, and if what my neighbor says is true, then it is itself quite significant:

at the time i had finished Phantasia and also wrapped up the first collection of short stories. after which i was drained and couldn’t write any more. then they appeared and, as is registered now for posterity, i could suddenly write again. i wrote a short story, and at the same time i started working on an idea for a novel that i’ve had since i was thirteen, which is more than twenty years ago (seriously). it’s called anonhuman. i finished the first chapter a week or so after they showed up here for the first time.

then i wrote the first five chapters of this, but something else appeared and i instead focused on what turned out to be the first chapter of my second novel (The Rot). that took around eight months from start to finish. i didn’t plan it but the vultures ended up in there too, and quite significantly so (and it wasn’t just an uncalled for insert, but rather fitting, given the theme of putrefaction and them being creatures that consume rotten flesh). still, they only appear at the very end (the last three chapters). i finished The Rot in the Spring of 2025, and after that wrapped up the second collection of short stories.

then the same malaise as the year before appeared and i couldn’t write fiction anymore for a while. and then they appeared again on a significant date for my wife and i:

soon after that i wrote the first short story of the new ‘season’, and picked up anonhuman again. wrote five more chapters. the last completed chapter was on september 18. i sent it to my wife for review as i always do but then i was stuck again, and sick of this book (it’s really dark and difficult to write, i think i’ve mentioned it before). and the vultures appeared again the next day:

i wrote but never typed chapter eleven of anonhuman and took some notes for what would come after. one of them was:

but soon (early october) i was caught up in a frenzy writing a completely different sort of book (Sketches of Alice). no vultures in it (it wouldn’t make sense, and i didn’t even think about including them). this was a very intense experience which consumed me for a couple of months, and i never picked up or even thought about the anonhuman book again, until today.

i was doing something else but came across those notes again, saw but didn’t really register the ‘vultures?’ reference and, seeing as i am more or less under the same malaise that always assaults me after finishing a book, i decided to start revising the printed up chapters of anonhuman again, just to feel like i was doing something.

i sit down, light a cigarette, start reading. three pages into the revision and my wife comes to tell me ‘the vultures are here’. she counted eleven. i was too struck by the ‘coincidence’ to even care. i just stood watching them hover, and then after a few minutes they all went away.

i have no idea what it means, but at this point i just have to accept that it means something.