Hell on Earth

a short story

On april seventeenth twenty thirty three, easter sunday, in the middle of the australian desert, a giant hole in the ground was discovered through satellite imaging. Some believed it was the result of a nuclear test in the pacific ocean that had happened some days before, others thought it was a consequence of the increasing use of particle accelerators, others still thought it was the result of pollution or other man made weather changes, plus many other sane or insane theories were advanced to explain it, but the questions of how and why soon disappeared from most people’s minds once the answer to the most important question was discovered, What is it. At first it was believed to be a normal sinkhole, though there had been no tremors detected, perhaps because of the giant size of the island and the remote location of the hole, so far from any of the major population centers. When the scientists dispatched to investigate the hole arrived, however, they found that it was no regular sinkhole. The hole was not vertical, but diagonal, a walkable pathway into the deep, the first ever of its kind. The discovery was significant enough that the whole expedition was documented, streamed live online, and the most exciting bits broadcast on the nightly news.

The exploration did not make for particularly entertaining television, it was simply a tunnel underground, and nothing out of the ordinary in it was found, just rock and dirt. The real shock, and what then became the major news item in the whole world, displacing wars and famines and epidemics and elections and corruption scandals and budget cuts, was what they found at the end. After three days of walking through the tunnel, with only a few hours of rest in between, the investigators found a cave so vast that even the powerful lights they had brought with them could not reach the end of it, but every inch the light could illuminate was full of people, bodies upon bodies upon bodies, all naked, a giant mass of moving limbs and heads and hands and feet. And although the discovery happened in a thoroughly secular and irreligious age, all the religious imagery of centuries long gone was at once recalled and brought back to the popular imagination, so that on every television channel the breaking news was the same, Hell On Earth, although it would have been more accurate to say in or under the earth, but that would not make for as good of a headline or soundbite.

Of course, there were naysayers and skeptics, as there always are even when presented with incontrovertible evidence, but to most everyone who saw the footage, the special combination of misery, perversion, ugliness, vileness and degeneration, and perhaps especially the sheer quantity of the people found there, certainly a not insignificant part of the world population since the world began, left no doubt to most. If there was a hell, this was it. And, let us note in passing, simply to highlight how compelling the footage was, that this was without being able to breathe the foul and fetid odours that filled the air of the cave, which, despite the great advancements in technology, could not yet be captured as the gruesome and disgusting images could through a camera, or the screams of horror and suffering and insanity could through a microphone. But sight and sound alone were sufficient to convince the masses, although, to be quite fair and present the other side of the argument, they are easily convinced of whatever we tell them to be the case, sight and sound might not even be needed at all.

Also unable to be captured by camera and microphone was the extreme heat of the cave, and that the investigators reported as increasing the more they descended through the tunnel. This provided no great surprise at first, since it was known, or at least assumed, that the core of the earth was molten lava. Yet in hell there was no fire at all, as popularly imagined, or at least none that could be seen, though it could certainly be felt, as the sweat on the investigators’ faces, once they neared and entered the cave, testified to. This, at least, was broadcast on the news, so that the spectators at home could get at least a feel for it, unlike the stink, of which they remained totally ignorant, except for the ones with more powerful imaginations and speculative minds.

Surprising to some but not to others, and a confirmation to materialists of all sorts and puzzling to devout people everywhere, was the fact that no devil or demon was found in hell at all, or if they were, they were indistinguishable from the people. No horns and hoofs were found, just round heads and feet. The torments of hell were real enough, as everyone could see, but the people seemed to inflict them on each other without the need of any external, supernatural or preternatural help. Those who subscribed to a more mild and purely spiritual, instead of physical, version of hell, like those places described, for example, by the hellenes and the hebrews, hades or sheol, were also surprised. Hell was, in a word, torment, although of course the fact that this hell of torment had been found did not disprove those other theories, they could still exist somewhere. Disappointed were the ones who believed in reincarnation, a not so insignificant number of people, though to be fair, the ones found in hell were very much incarnate and they were, in a sense, back on earth, just not in the way the reincarnationists imagined.

What was clear, given the vast number of people found there, the first estimates said at least a hundred million, but likely many more, was that a large part of the human species was now to be found in that hell of torment, a very grim prospect, we agree. Of small consolation was the fact that there were no babies or even toddlers, but there were children, at least as young as six or seven. The world learned this fact right away because the children were the first to notice the investigators, running over the mass of bodies to reach them, utterly mesmerized not so much by them but by their gadgets and clothes. And this, these naked and miserable children running towards their earthly saviors, captured so movingly by the cameras, was how the news, which were so bewildering and hard to categorize at first, quickly came to be understood within a frame so familiar to everyone of conscience, a humanitarian crisis. These were humans, after all, and even if they were in hell, was giving them a way out not the right thing to do. Of course it was, most everyone agreed.

This was at least the secular conclusion, though on the religious side the conviction was if anything even more pronounced. The church existed for one purpose alone, to lead people to salvation, and what, after all, did this consist in, if not saving people from hell. With the exception of a few traditionalist curmudgeons, quickly excommunicated, all the churches agreed, in a special ecumenical council organized for the purpose in haste, that this was not just the right thing to do, but the christian one. In short, where Jesus had failed, the church would pick up the slack, and was that not what it had been doing all these years, except now it would do it more literally. Perhaps because the traditionalist curmudgeons were excommunicated, or otherwise not invited, no one made the pertinent observation that, if so many people were found in hell, and they could not all be heathens or apostates, it was because the church had failed at least as much as Jesus, and if that was the case, perhaps caution and humility were advised. But since the observation was not made, and perhaps even if it had, the course of action was quickly and unanimously agreed to. Thus, within the first couple of weeks after the discovery, the perimeter around the entrance to hell had already been extended three times to accommodate the mass of people that kept coming out, encouraged to do so by religious missionaries and activists and social workers and charitable organizations of all types.

Of course, there were voices of dissent from the start. First of all, and regardless of what one thought of those that had been damned to hell, whether it was fair or unfair for them to reside there or not, that was very much a secondary question. The fact was, and this from a purely arithmetical perspective, the population of hell was immense. The initial estimation, which had been already massive, had in fact been way off the mark. The true number was in the billions. As the days passed, and the perimeters around the hole were secured and then moved back and then secured again and then moved back again, as people poured out from it by the millions and camped all around it, the real extent of the problem was understood. Given this, was it not unsustainable to bring all these people to the surface, the surface of an earth already exhausted of resources and overpopulated. To this pertinent question, the answer was that, as the critics well knew but due to ingrained prejudices had failed to mention or even take into account, there was a fertility crisis on earth. The population of the world, though large, was going down at a rapid rate, and thus the addition of the denizens of hell would not only be fair, in a general sense, but, speaking from a purely utilitarian standpoint, a benefit to the economies of the world, so deprived of labor, and especially to the social security systems, which were crumbling under the pressure of a demographic imbalance never once seen. Once this was pointed out, the few dissidents that spoke on the television and the newspapers, were converted to the other side, though for good measure, them being conservatives after all, they still proposed a more careful approach, a steady and controlled scheme, as opposed to the wide open arms approach of their more liberal counterparts, after all, it would benefit no one, not even the poor citizens of hell, if this was not done carefully and instead they were merely thrown out to fend for themselves in a world they did not understand, need we remind everyone that most of these people lived in a world very different from ours when they were alive on the earth and had been living in a very different world still while in hell, and frankly, the conservatives said with self styled righteous indignation, it was a travesty how much their opponents cared so little for the well being of these people, to think only of bringing them here without securing adequate measures for their successful integration. Political showmanship aside, every statesman and commentor agreed with the basic plan.

Popular opinion however was divided, as it always seemed to be on matters of great importance, but the cause of hell had a definite boost once many of the most famous popstars and celebrities participated in an event, broadcast worldwide, to raise funds for, and more importantly awareness of, the plight of the people of hell, urging the governments and the public to do the right thing and welcome their brothers and sisters from hell. The event was a success, and even more successful was the song that closed it, recorded live but then released with a very well made video with deeply touching images of the misery of hell and the poor people who had to endure it, appropriately called, Hell Yes. For a few months, the song was everywhere, and though its simple melody and harmony was not to the taste of musical snobs, the message, which was the most important part, had been embraced even by them. And so the plan was put in motion, with the collaboration of all the major governments, and the approval of all the minor ones.

Yet there were rumours, and even some factual reports, of unsavory dealings taking place in the camps that were formed around the entrance to hell. Rapes, tortures, murders, even cannibalism. At first, these and other incidents were discussed on the nightly news, in parliaments and congresses, and everywhere on the internet. One side was quick to point out that the only reason these reports came to the fore at all was due to how rare and out of character they were, after all, everyone knows that bad news and bad deeds spread faster and receive more publicity than good ones, the news always follow tragedy and malice, never happiness and altruism. Secondly, and equally important, what was one to expect from people who had been forced to live in hell for so long, and although logically it more or less contradicted the first argument, very few seemed to notice the contradiction. It was only natural, they continued, that the adaptation to normal life would take time, and it was a moral imperative that we give them that time, and excuse their excesses until then. What was clear was that if these people weren’t rescued, there would be no way for them to improve themselves and their station in life. What would you do, mister pundit or congressman, if you had happened to live in hell all of your afterlife, to deal day in and day out with its sufferings and torments, would you not be a little hellish yourself. This was the question every compassionate and open minded person asked of their skeptical and cynical opponents, who provided no answer other than an embarrassed silence. After these initial debates, the ones who insisted on raising objections were prevented from voicing their opinions, some even finding themselves imprisoned for the crime, which certainly helped to reduce the number of voices raised in opposition.

It was at this point, a few months into the ordeal, that the australian government, finding itself now close to being overwhelmed, and speaking at the united nations, urged the rest of the world to share the responsibility, a development that everyone more or less expected, but that no other government was in a rush to suggest. Now it had finally come. It was true that the entrance to hell had been found in their country, but the denizens of hell had been from all over the world before they found themselves under the earth, and thus it was the responsibility of all peoples, and all governments, to help in this crisis. No one dared suggest a census of hell, to ascertain the precise origin of its denizens before they were there, and thus distribute the population accordingly. Instead, everyone would contribute its fair share. Yet even here, at these high levels, there were a few voices of dissent, especially from the less developed countries. Their representatives argued that they had enough problems, and this would only add to them. Furthermore, what kind of fairness is possible for one if we mix it with unfairness for another. But since they did not want to be considered uncharitable, they did not come out and say right away that it should be the rich nations to accommodate the denizens of hell. Instead, and it was so obvious in retrospect, what they suggested was to ask of the people of hell what they wanted.

And that is when the first spokesmen of hell were heard, though it was hard to understand their speech. First, they said, they would prefer to join the rich nations, the closest ones to paradise on earth that could be found, and this was only fair as a compensation for having lived in hell for so long. Second, and perhaps even more importantly, they demanded reparations, and not just from anyone, but from the man who harrowed the place two thousand years before, Jesus of Nazareth himself. He was the one responsible for the terrible state of hell. Until he came, it had been more or less tolerable, since everyone ended up there, both good and bad. But when he came, all the good ones were able to escape, and thus since then hell had only degenerated further, seeing as only the bad people were left behind. It was an historical injustice, and it needed to be remedied. So now they demanded reparations for that terrible action, and since Jesus was not available to pay them, and even if he was, he was never a rich man, it was more than fair that the historically christian nations bear the expense, although perhaps the richest muslim ones could also chip in, since they have him as a prophet and that counts for something.

And so it was, the denizens of hell were given shelter and paid back for all the injustices brought upon them, until hell was completely empty, and the earth completely full. The results were not very impressive, to say the least. Bringing the citizens of hell to earth had not brought earthly standards to the people of hell, it had only brought hell to earth, if it was not there already in sufficient quantities. Since there were still voices of opposition, and they only seemed to grow louder and more numerous as time went by and the terrible consequences became more obvious, it was finally decided that these insufferable people, who did not have faith that the people of hell could be reformed, could not themselves be reformed and dissuaded of their opinions, and thus they would, from now on, not only be jailed, but all of them would be transferred to that vast place underground that had become vacant. From all over the world they were rounded up and brought to the hole in australia. All that was done to prevent their escape was to secure the initial perimeter, and other than that they were left to their own devices.

No one ever asked them, in part because the whole earth quickly devolved into utter chaos and devastation, but if someone had, especially after a few years of making the place their home, they would have said, You know what, this place is not so bad after all. The only problem, as they saw it, was that it wouldn’t take long for the denizens of earth to appear on their figurative doorstep with figurative hats in their hands, demanding to be let in.