.diminished discords (xiii)

this week on Laeth's mind

everywhere can be dangerous if you know how to have fun.

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there is a rhythm and a pitch to things. and since there are many things, there are always many rhythms and pitches clashing. a practical reason to learn to make sense of dissonance and polyrhythms.

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the way machine vomit people talk about the creative process is disgusting.

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what kind of corporate sludge they now feed to the plebs is really not my concern.

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it's good for your skin to bask in nostalgia. nostalgia tan is a great album name.

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thinking back, the only video games i liked were the ones that mimicked some aspect of real life (sports, mostly). i think gaming as a culture however is centered around the exact opposite type of game. and i find this distinction cuts across all my interests in peculiar ways.

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i realize now my books are partly meant to be a snapshot of my country before it disappears completely. it's not hyperbole. it's a very small country, and our diaspora blends completely into the host country. we're the opposite of the jews or the italians or the irish. once the homeland goes, it's gone.

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it don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that swing. and it ain't true without the blues. and it ain't wise if you don't improvise.

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apparently all footage of Miles' second quintet and Coltrane's quartet is from europe. america's disinterest in jazz is not a new thing. no prophet accepted in his own country sort of thing.

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you don't have to be lukewarm. you can be markwarm. or johnwarm. don't be mattwarm.

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fake intelligence is the new fake flu, but it actually makes you sick.

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either i'm writing fiction, or asking myself what's the point of writing fiction. the answer is because it’s fun.

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as i suspected, most people have no idea. the actual number as of now is 9 (ebooks + paperbacks). the one before is at 12. the first two novels did better (they're in the 20s). i think this means two things: one is that i suck at marketing. and two that so called speculative fiction has a lot more readers in this corner of the internet. realism (with jazz no less!) is just not anyone's cup of tea. unfortunately i want to keep writing that, not metaphysical fiction. the least popular genre of literature with the least popular genre of music. unmarketable. yes it is embarrassing, but at least i feel things writing it. so it evens out. saving face by calling them future cult classics. (actually Sketches of Alice ruined my life, but in a good way.)

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registering myself as a non profit

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i've written a few chapters from a woman's perspective but a whole book is a different beast. still unsure if i can pull it off.

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the blessings of the muse are ephemeral except in the heart of the artist; true connection requires getting past first impressions; the best version of ourselves is perpetually changing.

these were notes for 'moral of the story' of each chapter of my last book. i didn’t go beyond the third chapter (actually it ended up being the fourth chapter, but anyway).

i never get far when i try to make plans or go about things in a structured way. improvisation is way more fun, and whatever other ambitions i might have are short lived. if it's not fun to do, i just don't have the motivation to do it. which is why i find the enthusiasm for machine vomit so strange. it basically takes away the fun part, which is the process, the discovery, the improvisation. makes me feel very estranged from humanity.

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i love marriage as much as i hate weddings.

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i used to be scared of demons. but an interdimensional being interested in tormenting me, a mere mortal, is just a pathetic loser. so now i pity them.

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the more you court the esoteric stuff the more the demons will pursue you. not because you're close to some spiritual breakthrough, but because demons are a bunch of demented nerds with nothing better to do. they're basically reply guys, hoping to engage you in their nerdery, pulling you away from your god given opportunity to be happy and creative.

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you don't hear much about the great reset anymore. that probably means it’s successful.

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it’s not the first time. there has to be a way to take advantage of this. which of course, not to be offensive or anything, is a very jewish thing to say (i imagine).

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i don’t know if it’s encouraging or discouraging but i made more after 24h with a weird jazz fusion album (that is available to download for free!) than in two months with a book. but it is definitely funny.

i'm pretty sure this won't be anyone's cup of tea in these parts, but anyway. first 'real' album since 2021 i think. dissonant disco jazz fusion? i don’t know. something. as Miles said about Bitches Brew, it's music and i like it.

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musical portion today (ignoring the above, which can hardly be called music) is Diane, by Charles Mingus. now, this track is an alternate version of Alice’s Wonderland. i did not plan for any of it, but the book i’m writing now is about a character named Diana, and it is quite related to my earlier book about a character named Alice. another bit of coincidence is that Diana plays the piano, and the Diane version of the tune is much more piano heavy than the Alice version of the tune. strange. these coincidences are meaningful to me. either way, the music is great.