.cappy

a short story

They kidnap us. Fly us halfway around the world in cages. Then put us on display. A spectacle for fevered little children of poor manners and bored little men with poor imaginations. But no one can cage ol’ Cappy for long, I’m not like other capybaras.

You don’t believe me, I can tell. If I’m not like them why would I let myself be taken in the first place. Well, I didn’t. I let myself be caught second. First, they nabbed my love. Sweet Felicia… why did you have to be so good natured. It’s not her fault, all my brothers and sisters are easily lured. Not me. I wasn’t lured. I pursued my captors. I knew who they were because they spoke in a fruity accent and had bad breath. Soon enough, and just as I planned, they took me.

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But when I got to england my bride, my love, my life, Felicia, she’d been sold to another zoo. When I told my fellow prisoners my story and my plans they thought I was crazy. What are you going to do Cappy, swim the english channel…, Yes… are we not water creatures, No, no, we’re not, we’re rodents, Fool, why do you trust those dumb humans… do you feel like a big rat… how long have you been in this pool, As long as you, Precisely…, The water is so nice, don’t you think so Herbert. Capybaras are easily distracted. Even if I could convince them to escape with me, they would have forgotten about the plan within five minutes.

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Landing in france I walked up to three pigeons to ask for directions. They said they knew the way and would show it to me, if I gave them a ride. Can’t you fly, Yeah but I don’t feel like it, do you Jean Claude, No, no I don’t, do you Jean Pierre, No, no I don’t, do you Jean Michel, No, no I really do not Jean Pierre, do you Jean Claude, No, no I don’t…

It was easier to just let them hop on. They never shut up, and since they were on my back it was impossible to tell which one it was that was speaking. Well, even if I was looking at them, I couldn’t tell. Mostly they talked about the good old days to each other as if they were saying it and listening to it for the first time. They talked nostalgically about the eras when pigeons were angels. Yes, angels Jean Claude, messengers, angels are messengers, and we were angels, I mean messengers, and therefore angels, Yes quite right Jean Michel, did you know we used to carry the names of victors at Olympia to all the hellenic lands Jean Pierre, What an honor… but don’t forget our contributions in war Jean Claude, Quite right, quite right, and diplomacy too Jean Michel...

Sometimes I asked them questions. What are you going to do in the south of france, Vacation my dear friend, isn’t that right Jean Pierre. They would then go back to their perpetual conversation, and never asked any questions about my own plans. I could only think of Felicia. I imagined her beautiful face half submerged in water, so calm, so sweet, so lovely. That’s what kept me going.

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It took months to reach our destination. The pigeons often couldn’t agree if we should turn left or right, and we spent a long time discussing the meaning of cardinal directions. When we finally made it to the zoo, I described Felicia in detail, and asked the pigeons to fly above the property and see if she was there.

They came back hours later and told me they’d seen her. Where, how was she, what was she doing, Oh, just flying from branch to branch, What, Yes, indeed Jean Michel, Those sugar gliders, that’s all they do, Maybe they’d like to be pigeons, Jean Claude, That’s interesting, very interesting Jean Pierre, Yes indeed a truly interesting suggestion, Jean Michel, what other creatures do you think could be pigeons…

I interrupted and tried to explain again. She looks kind of like me but has a beauty mark over her left eye. Oh yes, of course, yes we saw her didn’t we Jean Claude, Yes, yes, no doubt it was her, she was dangling back and forth from her tail, then jumping to the next branch and the next, That’s all they do Jean Michel, Maybe they want to be pigeons, Oh I like that idea…

It was pointless. I had to go in and see for myself.

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I waited for the cover of night to break into the zoo, eluding the security guards with ease and quickly finding the capybara enclosure. Soon I would be with Felicia and we could escape. Yes we’d be fugitives, forever on the run from the cops, but we would be free.

It was so dark that I couldn’t tell capybara from capybara at first, so I used my nose. The faint scent of my beloved was enough to make me rush, but soon my nose told me there was something wrong and then my eyes confirmed it. There she was, sleeping… with someone else. And worse, they’d had children together. A boy and a girl. The girl looked so much like her mother. The boy looked nothing like me. I stood there watching them sleep for a while, feeling lost and betrayed and exhausted, and then was about to go on my way in defeat when a flash of light blinded me, and then a voice spoke through a megaphone, Give it up Cappy, we got the whole enclosure surrounded. And indeed, every guard in the zoo was there with tranquilizer guns, standing next to their stupid little carts and enough cages to lock a hundred Cappys. There was no way to escape, except...

I was too distraught to care about ancient taboos and sacred prohibitions. And anything was better than being a slave again. All capybaras are capable of shooting balls of fire from their eyes, but they never do it. First because the humans are not supposed to fear us. And second because we might be tempted to take over the world. I was better at it than most, and incinerated the guard’s vehicles in seconds, causing them to fly through the air in massive explosions, the guards to run in fear, and waking up the whole zoo. Including Felicia.

Cappy… what are you doing here. I explained all that had happened and finished it with, How could you do this to me, we were in love, Oh Cappy… I never imagined you would come for me… I thought you would just move on… like I have…, We had plans… we were going to New Orleans… and then travel all over the united states, My dear, sweet Cappy… that life is not for me… I need stability… Lucas here is an accountant, he can provide for us… whereas you’re a drifter, a wanderer, an outlaw… you would never be content with a quiet, simple life, Maybe you’re right, Felicia, but I love you, and I’ll never love anyone again, But Cappy our species isn’t even monogamous…

Well, babe…, I said, turning to leave and lighting another cigarette, …it’s like I told you the first time we met… I’m not like the other capybaras...

I never looked back. My heart was broken, but at least I had my freedom.

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The pigeons were still in the same place discussing which creatures were closest to their kind and didn’t notice my approach until I asked them about their plans. They said Santorini, and asked me for a ride. I always wanted to visit the greek islands.